My son is a soccer player and he participated in the NorCal PDP last year. One of the positive aspects of the NorCal PDP was that players from different clubs were put together in small sided games. I noticed that players instantly became loyal to their new team - they worked together, they got excited, they high-fived, they had fun. They didn't care that the other player had a different shirt - they cared only about playing football.

  After one of our more competitive league matches, my son had a friendly exchange with a player from the other team who he recognized from the PDP. They both looked beyond the shirt and respected each others game. It showed that, for kid's, sportsmanship, mutual respect, and love for the game does not need to be taught, just given an opportunity to flourish.

  We could use some more of that...from the adults...

  Almost every weekend on the sidelines of Northern California soccer fields I see another example of how adult ego, stupidity, or "us against them" mentality acts to undermine the enjoyment of competitive soccer for children on and off the pitch. Last time it was the parent who puffed up and yelled "try to make me leave" after being warned by the referee during a game of 10 year olds.

  When I see how adults act on the sidelines I often ask myself: are we doing all this for them or are we doing this for ourselves (and perhaps our own entertainment)? Have we really considered (or asked) what they like and dislike about competitive soccer? Do our boys and girls really enjoy the rigors of competitive soccer and enjoy being criticized and intimidated by adults every weekend?  
Adults continue to inject fear and aggression into the game and our kids are suffering for it. Red Cards don't work - the negative behavior of parents and coaches rarely illicits a Red card that flags the League of the problem.
 
The players on my son's team (who played in the Fall Gold League) have often expressed their distaste for the constant din of negativity and pressure that emanates from the sidelines at NorCal games. In one game, my 10 year old son was mocked and taunted by the opposition coach when he tried a roll-over move: "Fancy, fancy," he said, "I bet he's going to lose the ball."
 
Have we become so blinded by competition that we won't allow a boy or girl to try a new skill within the context of a game? So numbed by our adult attitudes about sport that we now accept the mocking and threatening of young children for the sake of a result?
 
When the result is in jeopardy, adults feel that it's fair to throw a fit in front of a bunch of 10-year-olds who, for the most part, couldn't care less that another player made a mistake or an offside or free-kick was given. If the field were a classroom and players were playing to be challenged, to learn, and have fun (as we like to claim they are), no one would get upset on the sidelines. Unfortunately this is not the case - our kids are growing up in an environment of sport where aggressive, result driven adults expose them every weekend (directly and indirectly) to harsh verbal criticism, violence, and out-of-control behavior. If such behavior was exhibited during the week in the schools and classrooms of our children these adults would not be able to teach (or associate with) children again.
 
Why then do we accept it (and expect it) on Saturdays?
 
In our adult-centric soccer world, we often view our kids as indestructible and impervious to the stress and pressure our lofty goals have imposed on them - they're not. I have seen a lot of kids, from all teams, struggle on the pitch this year due to the unreasonable expectations of adults - some play out of fear while others are distracted by the antics on the sidelines or suffer from lack of confidence due to the constant criticism.

 
Fun is slowly evaporating from the game...

  At tournaments it's even worse - I see and experience a slow degradation of spirit over the tournament weekend where finally you feel like you just waded through a quagmire of filth that you can't wash off. I've seen brawls between parents. I've heard coaches instruct players to tackle from behind if necessary to win. I've heard coaches praying with their team to God for more aggression and competitiveness. It's madness.

 
For some reason, adults seem to think that kids benefit from (or need) all the screaming, yelling, and verbal abuse (what adults call "excitement" or "motivation") when really they just want to play the game without the constant critique or distraction (I know this because I've actually asked them). It shouldn't surprise us that more and more kids get fed up with the game and drop out before high school - kid's are smarter than we are...unlike adults, they know how to stop when it's not fun anymore!
 
Does every team and every adult exhibit a lack of sportsmanship? No. Still, a fundamental change within our soccer community is needed to provide a more positive environment for our children. Kids don't play soccer to entertain adults or to try to beat the pulp out of another team. Even mild-mannered adults need to be educated and reminded about the reasons kids play soccer: to have fun, to be challenged, to be with their friends, to try a fancy move, to wear a fancy uniform.
 
In the end, adults, like children, respond to real consequences not talk - it's time to give the adults a long time-out...

From an unidentified observer....