ASININE has contacted a class action law firm to look into a possible lawsuit against the makers of soccer balls, socks and even plastic milk jugs.  " Look at many third world countries and the amount of soccer those children are playing" said ASININE Study leader Bob Smith. " There are children playing 5 to 10 hours a day in the streets and they are at risk of burning out or developing repetitive injuries." Bob added, "If plastic milk jugs were not available to these kids - they would not have goals to score in, if they did not have soccer balls - they could not play soccer          ( except when supervised by an adult) and if they did not have socks they would not be able to fashion a ball out of socks and old clothes. No longer can the milk companies, the sock companies and the soccer ball companies take advantage of the world's youth by encouraging them to play so much soccer," he exclaimed.


Many experts outside the US disagree however and think the study is being driven by a dedicated group of baseball experts in the US. They say ASININE conclusions are false pointing to soccer crazy countries as proof playing too much soccer does not damage young children.

The ASININE reply was, " The myth of Pele, Maradona or Zidane playing all day is exactly that - a myth. They could not have played while in school or doing homework, what about school dances - do you think they did not go to school dances?To suggest they did not play Gameboy, X Box, or even lawn darts is asinine. This type of disinformation is exactly what we are fighting against."

Pele, when questioned answered," I love football. When I was young I play everyday, all day until dark. Football has been very good to me - I have been very good for football."


When asked about the ASININE study he laughed and replied," That is, how do you say.....asinine. I see the little boys in Africa, South America, Central America and Mexico playing soccer every day - all day. Do they play American Football, baseball, lacross, volleyball, ice hockey...?No. It is a shame they cannot or do not go to school but they enjoy football."

ASININE spokesperson Bruce John could not disagree more, " Pele works for Pony, Pony makes shoes, why would we look to Pele for medical advice when we have the input of doctors in the US who are seeing most of these repetitive injuries, burnout and lawsuits."

Pele, when asked, replied, " They do not play enough soccer in the US to have these injuries, go to Brazil, go to Africa, kids play all day and they are healthier. Maybe the injuries are from American players crashing like cars while chasing after the ball..if they can't look up because they have to watch the ball I imagine they crash a lot....is that a repetitive injury.....crashing is bad...I am against that."

The  ASININE study has produced reactions world wide with even  Johann Cryuff getting into the act stating, "A ball is an essential part of the game” and ”to win you have to make one more goal than your opponent” . He concluded, “Extremes, I don't like them. Every extreme is so extreme"


When asked to clarify his statements he said, “ Rinus Michels stated,” “I know there are professional clubs who are working with nine and ten year olds 2-4 times per week but that is nothing compared to the kids who spent three hours or more every day playing in the streets or open fields.”

Cryuff continued" This means this study group accuses him of risking children’s health by recommending that voetbal be played every day for hours. This is asinine and they are foolish........I do not believe they have played football”
He concluded with, “Let me be direct after all I am Dutch,” In England they say this is bonkers, in Spain they say horrible…..in US they say sick..... . In any case, “"Orange is a happy colour."

ASININE refused to comment much except for stating, “ Sure Johann is recognized as one of the top experts in soccer world wide but what does he know about the tender psyche of a youngster in Palo Alto, California, Columbus, Ohio or Lincoln, Nebraska?”

The issue seems to be dominated by people in the United States. Statistics in the US show %75 of players drop out of soccer by age 13.

The ASININE statement concerning this statistic was,“ Look even if a youngster drops out of her softball, soccer, volleyball, cross country and karate at 13 years of age, he or she will have a well rounded experience in many different area’s. Do you think Pele was well rounded? Would Zidane have head butted that German fellow if he had been more well rounded and not so focused on soccer? We think not. If a kid drives from school to soccer to basket ball to piano to karate and then does their homework they will not have time to get in trouble – much less have repetitive injury - and they won't be too focused on anything.”  

Zidane said, "I had a friend who played soccer ....but not much.....he quit because he could not dribble, pass, shoot, trap, and he did not know much about the game.......we used to say,"You play like an American". This was a very brutal insult in France.... In fact, that was why I  gave my first head butt......Anyway he does not play anymore.......he said it was not fun when you had legs like stilts.....I told him the stilts go away if you play more..oui....he did not listen.....I have heard many Americans have stilts for legs when they play soccer......is this true?"

Diego Maradona when tracked down in while on vacation in Cuba also has strong feelings about the debate and he responded to a statement in a CYSA article by their Chairperson which states, “Studies of practice in former Soviet Union where early identification and specialization was practiced "showed early sport specialization did not lead to the performance advantages people thought, and in fact, there was an advantage to early sport diversification.”

Maradona said," I diversify with all of my stocks.....its a good idea but I am not so sure about sports."  He continued,  “ Baseball very popular in Cuba because Castro very good ball player. I love baseball, in the past when I had my problems I used baseball on TV to sleep. I think repetitive injuries dangerous with baseball...when the players fall asleep in a game they fall over or get hit by a runner....when this happens repeatedly this not good for head." He added, "But when I was a kid I played soccer every day in the streets, with milk jugs for goals and socks for my ball. Why they want sue milk and sock companies? The kids just want to play soccer...... all day.”

The ASININE response, “ Maradona is not a good example of specialization. Look what happened to him. Sure he was injury free and very talented but so is Taylor Twellman and he played soccer and baseball until he was in high school. Taylor plays in the MLS.”

Maradona asked, “ ML what?”

Michel Platini, former world soccer star, future president of European Football sought to bring some reasonableness to the debate. He is reported to have said, " Look from what I understand the Americans are, how do you say, crazy about football...by this I do not mean they are crazy about playing it rather their parents go crazy about the little ones playing it..... I have heard they have rankings for U11 teams and parents go crazy driving 9 hours to go to tournament for U9 soccer games.....I have not seen this first hand but I understand many players only play on a team for 2-3 months a year.... this is as they say in England, Bonkers.....If you not playing you are not a very good player...."

When told that was the ASININE concern he replied, " That is.... how do you say... asinine. For years children around the world have played mostly one sport. They not burned out...they become very good......... if they want young children to play more..... encourage players to play more......is this a baseball group that makes these ASININE statements?"

It seems the uproar over the discussion will not die soon. The class action lawsuit continues, as does the debate. In fact, the class action law firm has taken Van Persie of Arsenal’s advice saying they should sue the Dutch Government for building little pitches all over Holland.  They have also begun looking into lawsuits against gardeners who have planted trees which supply the poorest kids in the world with sticks for goals. They may even take on the military for assisting in raising funds for soccer balls in Iraq and Afghanistan and they are contemplating a boycott of the world cup for inspiring children to dream thereby encouraging them to play too much soccer. "

"The risk of inaction against too much action in soccer is too great, we could burnout an entire generation of children and cause repetitive injuries to many of them if we do not encourage children to play less soccer," stated ASININE.

It is rumored CYSA will take part as a witness due to some experience in the field of burnout. The  law firm has also reportedly asked for advice from CYSA on how to avoid repetitive injuries. CYSA is a reported leader in the field of non-repetitive injuries claiming a success rate of 98%. CYSA may have claimed," Except for players who insist on playing all year we find there are no repetitive injuries in most of our players."

When asked to explain CYSA's success in avoiding repetitive injuries and burnout the ASININE reply was, " They have masterfully put together a season calendar which encourages soccer to be played for only 2-3 months a year, for most players, and soccer is never played very seriously during that time."

"In fact", ASININE continued, " Most CYSA players never play past 13 years of age anyway so the risk of burnout isn't too great.....this model provided by CYSA should be an example to the world.....this combination of keeping kids from practicing too much and getting kids to quit so early is a tremendous achievement because they never even get to burn out.....they just quit without ever playing too much.....this is the best thing .....they have convinced everyone to never play too much soccer..... they keep most players mediocre..... so they quit........what a successful model for others to follow........the best part is no one else has run leagues."

Aresene Wenger, the French soccer coach and football genius has refused comment, his spokesperson says he has seen Sascha Cohen's Borat film, and he believes the idea of too much football is so asinine it can only be a joke.....

Hillary Clinton is reported to have heard about the issue...

More as the story develops…...

From Far Post Staff Writer - Benjamin Ziemer